Survival as a Freshman

Hey guys, as you guys have secured admissions in your respective universities, so here it is now – something that’ll help you  survive as a new student and you won’t be there to say “kaash ye cheezain mujhe pehlay pata hotin” (I wish I knew these things earlier). And yes, you’ll thank me after this.

So, it was 8th September 2014, the first day of my university and I literally had no idea what to do or even where to go. I was like I should’ve known somethings at least. And these are the things that make you what they call “freshmen”. And freshmen year is like hunting season if you know what I mean.

I’m here to help you with this and so below I have mentioned a few guidelines that’ll help you   in your respective universities too.
 

1. Be Confident:

I remember my first week when we were all surprised and excited to see differentdepartments and the mahol and acted like insane fools  These things are sure to point you out as a freshmen. Always be confident. Study the map, the departments, the different areas or what they are called in your universities so that when you get attacked, you can excuse that you aren’t a freshmen and you lost your card. Try not to be surprised – exception for mechanical engineering students – but don’t try to be overly cool too. They are like reindeers, ready to be preyed upon!

Success percentage: 40%
 

2. Be Bold:

If someone randomly comes to you and asks “oye, freshmen hou?”, the quickest route would be to run as fast as you can. But it’ll not be the safest one because they surely don’t know who you are, but they’ll find you, AND THEY WILL RAG YOU – more maybe for lying. So, I’ll advise you to stay bold and say it on their face with all those plain expressions that “nahi bhai, shakal se itna chota lagta hun? Senior hun, card nahi pehna shughal ke liye”. If they fall for for it then voila, you’ve succeeded! But if they don’t, there’s always the former plan. 

Success percentage: 60%
 

3. Say no to Cafés:

Cafés are like hunters’ camps. Even if you survive some days one way or another, they’ll never and I repeat NEVER EVER have mercy on you even if they sense the presence of you around one of these. They’re sure to kill you and feast on you, not only that day, but on the days to come too. Cafés are like the attractive clubs and casinos and all and yes, you’ll get allexcited to go there for all the obvious reasons – no! the alibi “bhook lag rahi thi, kuch khana tha” does not and will never justify a freshmen’s presence there (especially mechanical engineers or civil too sometimes – but they’re obviously exempted because of the lack of a WHOLE SPECIES of the opposite gender in their respective departments).

Success percentage: 80%
 

4. Avoid ladies from foreign departments:

If whenever you’re strolling around the grounds or anywhere in the university and see a beautiful young girl after which you start to dream all that bollywood style “thandi hawa” and“tum hi hou” in the background and mentally form all solutions to your mom’s problems with her, along with sending a proposal to her, and marrying her later on; please don’t. It was in that moment you dreamt a perfect life with her but it was also in that very moment, her friends, or your seniors of the other department saw you drooling all over her and passing smiles and all and decided to thrash you. Believe me, all departments are possessive for their ladies especially architecture and business management (or the other way round hereiykwim) and they will avenge you – and by now, you should have the idea how. So in these cases, relax, say “pehli nazar halal hai”, utilize it, then leave – again exemptions for mechanical and civil boys as they’ve never seen such a rare species before.

Success percentage: 100%
 

5. Cards:

There are two type of university cards; A). The original cards your university issues and they’ll be with you for the rest of your bachelorette years. and B). The temporary cards freshmen are given until their original cards are issued and as much as they are important, they are also a source of potential danger for you as they are mostly bigger in size and can be seen from far away, hence marking you as the next prey for them seniors. They’ll get you, kill you, eat you, humiliate you and take out all their frustration on you. Tip to avoid this is to keep your temporary card in your pocket and reveal it only when you need to enter your department.

Success percentage: 70%
 

6. Backup:

This is surely a not recommended technique but very useful. If you are caught up in a situation where there’s no way out and you are in the centre of hunters about to be preyed upon, then you should “better call Saul” (Breaking Bad reference). That is to say if you know any senior from that department (or anyother department), stop them hunters, call Saul and voila! He’ll be there to rescue you – and if he isn’t, you’re in for a VERY bad treatment 

But this is not that good of a trick as your interaction lessens and you fail to enjoy the mere pleasures of your university.

Success percentage: 95%
 

7. Mechanical and Civil induced girls:

For all the girls out there opting mechanical or civil as their careers, firstly a BIG salute to your courage and secondly a GREAT choice, PLEASE COME xD You’ll always be treated as the princesses and queens of your department. Nobody will have anything to do with you, you’ll always be at mercy, any excuses you make will be legit and people will always be there to do your work in a jiffy. You’ll always be the apple of everyone’s eye and can always call your brothers in “kaams” because, you know, the whole department consists of a bro-zoned army, whenever you’re caught up in the middle. Hence if you’re a girl then:-

Success percentage: 100%
 

8. Hostels:

If you live in a hostel, then I’m sorry because you’re automatically screwed my friend. Freshies have a whole floor to themselves and this indicates you being a freshmen. Alongside, every person in the hostel knows everyone by face, so yeah. Moreover, generally speaking seniors can recognize a freshmen just by the look on their faces so in short, everyone’s under threat.

Success percentage: 0%
 
 
So, as this is over, on a serious note, freshmen year is one the best years of one’s life as you get to experience so many new things. The seniors are never like how I mentioned exaggerated, they are actually VERY AMAZING and helping for everyone. Even if they tease you a little for fun, then it’s okay because you’ll get to know them this way and they’ll become your greatest allies. And yes, ragging is a part of life, it’s fun as well as a source of ice-breaking. No offence to mechanical and civil engineers

Apart from that, engineering is one of the toughest careers. You’ll never ever have spare time during your semester. Whoever told you “FSc kar lou, aagay asaani hai” is wrong as hell. The only way to tackle it is to study alongside, daily. You’ll get to know this once you are enrolled.

Best of luck to all the juniors out there. And beware. Huehuehue